These days weight loss is all that I've had on my mind. I'm pretty much obsessed with food, not so much eating food, but staying away from food. I try to convince myself that I'm not crazy, but I am, so be it. I just hope that I do not pass this crazy onto my kids. I read about a 9 year old girl that because of her mother's obsession with thin, was dieting. I don't want to do that to my kids. I want them confident, and healthy. I am very careful not to say demeaning things about myself, and I don't think demeaning things about myself. My mom once told me that if I don't talk about flaws, people will over look them. But if I go on and on about the zit on my face, or my muffin top, that is what people will notice. I've found that to be true. In my 20's I knew a girl that was always down on herself, she would always complain about her looks, her weight, her features, etc. One night drinking I had had enough of the whining and I yelled at her 'YES YOU ARE FAT AND UGLY, SHUT UP OKAY!' Stupid girl just wanted us to tell her she was pretty...she a damn model now. Whatever.
I am happy with the amout of weight that I've lost, and I'm doing really good at eating correctly. I'm even preparing very healthy meals for my family, which they are eating. We are eating REAL. Or at least trying to. We do have the weekly binge on eating out, but I'm trying to curtail the binge to one meal a weekend, not the entire damn weekend.
Two damns...I must be in a mood.
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